Your Doubt on Stage

When the time comes for you to step forth, the carpet and the tent will be waiting. When it comes time to step out onto the stage, the audience, the lights and the script will be prepared.

Cathy, there is a stage prepared for everyone. All the cast and all the crew will be assembled. All the crowds waits for is the star attraction—you.

[Now, when I say “you” don’t think that there is anything particularly special about you. Everyone is equally special. I know you have a propensity for judging and ranking but put that aside. This is not about you being a star—more gifted or spectacular than the next person. This is not about you in the particular. There is a stage that awaits everyone. Everyone is the star of their own show, their own extravaganza.]

You, in particular, want a bigger stage and so you shall have one. I understand that your big stage is not about you serving your ego. I understand that you resist this inclination. But. your vision is big, and so shall the manifestation be.

What you need to do to get where you want to go is to continue to honor the voice that speaks to you so quietly. You sit here with me each morning to amplify that voice. And that, Cathy, is what you want for others. You want them to develop the tools and the capacity so they can hear their own inner voice. You know this voice wants to be heard. You understand that the messages embedded in this voice—my voice—will be the force that heals the world.

My desire, my intent is simple. I want each and everyone of you to be who you are, who you were born to be. You are each imbued with all the gifts and talents and circumstances you need to get exactly what you want. You are missing nothing. You have everything you need to have everything you want. This is my message to you.

You, Cathy, understand that and have taken it upon yourself to do all in your power to live from that stance. I congratulate you and invite you to trust even more. I will not desert you. I will not. I will continue providing you the tools and strength and courage you need to take the next step. And yes, I know you are grateful and you are scared and you have moments, almost every other moment, in which you doubt my existence and my sincerity. It is that doubt that will be your liberation. It will be your calling card. It is who you are and, therefore, your salvation.

Nothing is wasted. Your doubt, your floundering faith is such an integral part of who you are. Allow it to come center stage. That is the voice with which you can, and maybe should, speak. It is who are and, therefore, perfect. I created all the circumstances for you and your perpetual questioning is one of the most influential. Your doubt is not an albatross but a gift.

Share yourself, share your process. Be vulnerable. Be real, Be authentic. You will be rewarded. I will reward you.

I am the gentle reminder

Cathy, what is it about your journey that is worth your attention? That should be the essence and the content of your messages. That is MY essence. I am only interested in that which serves the greater good. And so it should be with you.

You were born with a unique and perfect set of qualities and gifts. They are in a constellation designed and delivered specifically to you. As you develop you are changed and morphed by your circumstances into yet another unique constellation. Your task now is to allow the stars that make up the constellation to shine.

All too often you produce clouds and rain to obscure their magnificence. You come to me for help to uncover them, pull back the curtain and allow them to be seen in all their brilliance. If and when you allow your greatness to be seen the viewer will light up as well. That’s how this thing called life and relationships works. Others want to see you shine because it means they can too. Some will feel diminished and judgmental but you need not, and should not, focus on them. Surround yourself with others who are polishing their light for grander performances. They will appreciate and feed off your willingness.

The simple truth is that you have everything you need already. There is nothing missing. You will learn more as you progress but you have everything you need right now to take the next step. So proceed. Take the next step. The carpet awaits your ready feet. Open your mouth and let the pearls of who you are spill forth. You needn’t worry because everything you do, say and perform will be perfect. Even those instances that you will interpret as shameful are for you or someone else's good. I waste nothing. You are the only ones who are wasteful.

As I have been saying for month’s—just proceed. One foot in front of the other. Trust that the goodness of who you are and your greater calling are being supported by me. Remember that I am your greatest resource, I am your bank, I am the strength to which you turn.

And who am I, you ask? I am the limitless reservoir and repository of the best of you. I am that which you call your greater yet to be. I am the word you call your potential. I am the you you know you’re capable of being. I am the gentle reminder.

50!

Tomorrow is my 50th birthday.

I only want one thing for my birthday — to have a good time. That is most definitely assured as we have rented a beautiful house in Point Reyes and are having nine amazing friends for the weekend. As one of my colleagues said, ”Sounds very Big Chill”. Yes, indeed.

I have been anxious about the event. The butterflies have not been about crossing the demarcation into the second half of a century, but about performance anxiety. It’s been about the discomfort that comes when people pay attention to me. I worry about everyone having a good time, their sleeping arrangements and food choices, bla, bla, bla.

But this morning, as the bags of food lay ready at the front door and Judit is off buying my cake, I feel calm, grateful, centered, eager. This morning and this weekend, I claim myself to be open to all that unfolds; willing to see and absorb the truth as it presents itself to me; grounded and strengthen by what I know; and a fully expressed embodiment of who I am.

Yes, indeed. I’m 50 and I like it.