Unconditional Love

Imagine committing the most heinous, blood curdling crime. Imagine being painfully boring, unimaginative and inactive. Imagine being petty, vindictive, angry and mean-spirited. Imagine being ugly, too skinny with bad teeth and skin. Imagine being a failure, a loser, unpopular, alone, weak, lazy, and unproductive. Imagine being nothing.

Now, imagine someone loving you anyway. Imagine having someone stand by your side with an arm around your shoulder, standing vigil over you, despite all of that.

That is unconditional love. That is what I do. That is who I am. And, that is who you are. Remember, we are one and the same. The question is—can you do that for yourself?

Today’s affirmation

I am a giver and receiver of unconditional love.
Love is healing me.

Alone But Not

You are achingly alone yet intimately connected. This is the most vexing and haunting paradox in your human lives. Learning how to navigate the boundaries between those seemingly contradictory world is the trick of a full and fulfilling life. This is also the irony and challenge of a spiritual practice.

You sit quietly in solitary confinement with only breath and the unbroken chain of your private thoughts. In the safety and familiarity of your psychic isolation you attempt to feel and experience your connection to the world. Utterly alone, without a voice or the courage to give yourself over to something larger than yourself, you sit on your couch and try to tap into the channels of water hidden below the surface that link you to others. You hear from the pulpit (and believe) that you are not alone yet your experience tells you otherwise.

There is no remedy for this paradox. You are alone and you are not alone. You have you own individual experience and that experience is shared by everyone. This may be confusing but it true.

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As a baby you were utterly dependent on others to take care of you, nurture you, love you. As an adult you have learned to take care of yourself, isolate, be distrustful and cynical. In your spiritual practice you must be the vulnerable baby utterly dependent on faith—faith that you are being taken care of, being nurtured, being loved.

Sit by me, day after day. Sit with me and see that I will not fail you. I will not abandon you. I will not judge you. I will love you in your weakness and frailties. I will love you when you take your first step. My heart is big enough to hold you. I will not ever leave you. In your solitude, you are never alone.

Today’s Affirmation

I proceed knowing that my faith proceeds me.

Keeping It Real

MY VOICE:
I can not seem to feel that effervescence of life and love and joy that I know is right there, on the other side of my mind's chatter. There is a heavy cloud obscuring my view. I am weighed down by an opaque blanket of doubt. I can not see, remember, feel or believe in what I know I have experienced in the past. My mind and memory tell me what's possible but I viscerally don't feel it. I feel sad and lost.

SPIRIT VOICE:
Cathy, to be human is to doubt and to lapse and to experience disconnection. All I ask is that you be present to your experience. Being spiritual does not mean being happy all the time. How can you be happy in the face of yesterday's supreme court decision and the world's ills. It is not natural to be elated and ethereal all the time. What I want for you is to embrace how you feel, honor it, learn from it, then share it by being real. You will be alleviated of your human pain only when you face it, examine it's remnants and move on.

I do not want you happy. I want you real. If a cloud hovers over you, thank it for blocking the sun. If a blanket covers you, thank it for its protection. Everything, everything, everything, in every minute, is perfect.

Awareness and acceptance. That is what I want for you and from you.


Today's Affirmation

My strength comes from my willingness to be real.
I embrace the reality of my feelings today.
I believe in and welcome the understanding that is soon to come.

Why Do I Avoid and Procrastinate?

You suspect you get in your own way out of fear and you are correct. By stepping forward and creating the results you say you want, you risk the appearance of caring. And, the last thing your ego wants is to want something and then not get it. Failure is not an option so your ego blocks your progress. It’s preferred stance is cool and detached.

Your actions are a reflection of what’s happening inside. You are not taking action because your ego doesn’t want you to. The frustration and self-recrimination you are experiencing is simply a reflection of the conflict between your ego and your true expression of self. You feel uncomfortable and disconnected because you are. You are allowing your ego to drive the bus to Destination A when you know you really want to go to Destination B. It’s natural that you would feel annoyed and disappointed.

Let me drive the bus and you will soar.

There is nothing wrong with caring and nothing wrong with failing. Come to my garden and you will discover that there is nothing in it that is not wanted. Nothing. Even the weeds and dying bulbs are in their perfect state.

I have said it now a hundred times… just proceed. I will not disappoint.

Today’s Affirmation

I will not be sidetracked by me ego’s desire for mediocrity and the status quo.
I am 'in the flow' when my actions are in alignment with my true desire.
Today, my actions are driven by my soul’s deepest desire.

Why Meditate?

You are wondering why you come to me each morning? What craving dwells in your heart that compels you to sit, breath and empty your mind so that it may be filled? The fact that you don’t know is okay. Really. It’s okay. What is important is your commitment. What is important is that you are willing to continuously come here in search of answers.

To connect to me is to connect to the greater, bigger, more compassionate, more creative aspect of yourself. You know that you are so much more than you think you are and that by setting aside your personality you are able to feel and know the full extent of your potential. THAT is the carving that dwells in your heart.

So, come here to this spot each morning and turn your attention to that which is beyond your circumstances and conditions. Turn your attention inward and you feel the container that you think of as ‘you’ melt away. Through meditation you know that even the confines of your body are an illusion. Your individuality unifies with the whole.

You needn’t have an agenda to come here. There need not be an end result. You need only a willing heart and an intent to learn and grow. You need only the courage to proceed with the job of being. Cliché I know, but true just the same.

Today’s Affirmation

I do not need to know where I am going.
If my heart is heading in the right direction I will get there.
My commitment is all I need.

You Are Not an Island

Think of all the people around the world. From the Amazon to Amsterdam. From the streets of New York to the plains of Central Africa. From vegetable vendors in Florence to taxi drivers in Bangkok. Think of mothers in Tokyo, Toronto, Madrid, Dubai, Baghdad, Johannesburg, Bogato, Melbourne, Moscow giving birth, loving their children, feeding them, nurturing them, letting them go. Think of all the creativity, the art and music being expresses everywhere. Think of all the families, the laughing, the crying, the joy and celebration. Think of the interconnections that make community function. Think of all the love, compassion, patience, creativity, strength, power, joy, balance, clarity, groundedness, blessings that flow in the hearts of all the people around the world.

What flows through them flows through you. You have far more in common than you think.

This tie that binds you to everyone else is my gift to you. Your family is bigger than you think.

Today’s Affirmation

I am not an island.
Interconnectedness is my nature.
My daily activities reflect my understanding of our connection.

Your Purpose = Service

Your life’s purpose is not designed for your own personal gratification. Yes, you enjoy doing things you are good at but the gifts you are given are not intended solely for your pleasure. You are born to share yourself with ourselves. You are a social creature.

To understand your purpose is to identify what contribution you will make, not to yourself, but to the world. As you go in search of your 'passion' don’t seek personal gratification (although you will find it along the way) but service.

Vanity and ego gratification are short lived. Real satisfaction is a community event. When your calling is revealed you will discover that it’s dividends are enjoyed by everyone. And, I mean everyone.

The world wants you to be you, with all your eccentricities and foibles. The world wants you to be you.

Today’s Affirmation

I am on purpose because I am sharing myself.

Liberating Secrets

Living life behind a costume and mask is exhausting. We each wander through our lives encased in our own private, self-constructed cocoon. Within it’s familiar walls we feel safe and warm. We perceive our protective walls to be impermeable and opaque. We feel comforted by the knowledge that our secrets are invisible to the world. It is from this illusion of safety that we operate in the world.

The truth is, we are not as opaque as we think and our privacy does not serve us or others. By denying yourself and the world your truth, you are holding yourself captive. There is liberation in the letting go. Open your clenched fist and feel the ease of the open palm.

Today's Affirmation

I am set free to fly when I reveal my secrets.

Hold Fast to the Invisible

Invisibility and infinity. The two are linked in a dance of the imagination. They test the minds limits. We like the concrete, the provable. We like patterns, evidence that repeats. We are comforted by the familiar and prefer answers to questions. But, where is the creativity, the expansiveness, the transformation in the finite and visible? If all is well with you and your world, then by all means, sit back and enjoy your status quo but most of us want more – for the world, if not ourselves.

The aspect of life upon which we hang our hopes and dreams often feels just out of our reach. We grasp for things we can’t see or sometimes can’t even imagine. That craving is our spirit calling us up.

We must look beyond the limiting beliefs (war, poverty, homelessness, injustice is inevitable) that plague our current world view. They feel intractable. They feel true. To deny their truth is to be labeled, at best, naive, at worst, a fool.

Stop. Stop claiming your past as evidence for your future. Your past will repeat itself only because you make it so. Make new choices. Proclaim a different future. See the future flowing in a new, more loving, more sustainable, more equitable direction. See the possibility. See the invisible and claim it so. Feel the infinite and embrace the permission it offers for creativity and vision.

Today's Affirmation

I am not defined by my past.
My past reveals only where I have been, not who I want to be.
Vision and possibility are the qualities on which I hitch my wagon.

Bright Shadows

From your pile of wreckage blooms your dreams.

When push comes to shove, your good comes from your darkest corners. As you become willing to swim in the ugliness, you dare to get dirty and it’s the dirty who get things done.

Fear not. Don’t shy away from the ugly underbelly. The ugly underbelly is hidden by the beautiful but is no less worthy of your gaze.

Death is as momentous as birth and no less worthy of our attention. There is balance in life and you must tend to its seesaw nature. Think of light and shadow. Yes, the shadow is created and defined by the light but it is a necessary byproduct of the light. You can not have light without shadows. The shadow can not exist without the light but the light can not exist without the shadow. You must embrace both. Explore your shadows, their subtly, their humanity. Constellations of life lurk in the shade of the tree. As in photography, you must expose for detail in the shadows.

Look deeply at the thing you cover yourself with. Examine it’s finer details, smell it, touch it, then thank it. It has, and no doubt will continue to, serve you well but you are more than your shadow. There is far more light then there is shadow.

Today's Affirmation

Light shines on me to reveal my shadow.
Constellations of life lurk in the shade of the tree.