Alone But Not

You are achingly alone yet intimately connected. This is the most vexing and haunting paradox in your human lives. Learning how to navigate the boundaries between those seemingly contradictory world is the trick of a full and fulfilling life. This is also the irony and challenge of a spiritual practice.

You sit quietly in solitary confinement with only breath and the unbroken chain of your private thoughts. In the safety and familiarity of your psychic isolation you attempt to feel and experience your connection to the world. Utterly alone, without a voice or the courage to give yourself over to something larger than yourself, you sit on your couch and try to tap into the channels of water hidden below the surface that link you to others. You hear from the pulpit (and believe) that you are not alone yet your experience tells you otherwise.

There is no remedy for this paradox. You are alone and you are not alone. You have you own individual experience and that experience is shared by everyone. This may be confusing but it true.

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As a baby you were utterly dependent on others to take care of you, nurture you, love you. As an adult you have learned to take care of yourself, isolate, be distrustful and cynical. In your spiritual practice you must be the vulnerable baby utterly dependent on faith—faith that you are being taken care of, being nurtured, being loved.

Sit by me, day after day. Sit with me and see that I will not fail you. I will not abandon you. I will not judge you. I will love you in your weakness and frailties. I will love you when you take your first step. My heart is big enough to hold you. I will not ever leave you. In your solitude, you are never alone.

Today’s Affirmation

I proceed knowing that my faith proceeds me.